I hate call centres!

Press one to book a land based holiday.
Press two to book a cruise.
Press three if you already have a land based holiday booked
Press four if you already have a cruise booked
(you have selected a cruise)

Press one to book cruise only
Press two to book a fly cruise
(you have selected cruise only)

Press one to book a cruise with P&O
Press two to book a cruise with Cunard
Press three to book a cruise with Princess
Press four to book a cruise with Fred Olsen
Press five to book a cruise with NCL
Press six to book a cruise with Royal Caribbean
Press seven to book a cruise with Regent Cruises
Press eight to book a cruise with Celebrity cruises
Press nine if you wish to book a cruise with anyone else
(you have entered an invalid option please try again being more careful this time)

Press one to book a cruise with P&O
Press two to book a cruise with Cunard
Press three to book a cruise with Princess
Press four to book a cruise with Fred Olsen
Press five to book a cruise with NCL
Press six to book a cruise with Royal Caribbean
Press seven to book a cruise with Regent Cruises
Press eight to book a cruise with Celebrity cruises
Press nine if you wish to book a cruise with anyone else
(you have selected to book a cruise with Fred Olsen)

Press one if you have never travelled with Fred Olsen before
Press two if you have travelled with Fred Olsen in the last five years
Press three if you have travelled with Fred Olsen before but it was over five years ago
(You have selected option one; never travelled with Fred Olsen before)

Press one if you want to book a cruise for 2012
Press two if you want to book a cruise for 2013
(you have selected option two; a cruise for 2013)

If you intend to pay whatever price we quote you please press one
If you want to book a cruise in the next few days please press two
If you're just shopping around please hang up and stop bothering us
(you have selected option one; Mwahahahaha)

You will now be transferred to one of our hardly trained operators, (after listening to five minutes worth of our terms and conditions first), who will then proceed to ask yu all the above questions again.

You have a nice day now.


So come on people, if you hate call centres as much as me lets here your horror stories here and don't forget, (yes I know I'm blowing my own trumpet), I've one direct telephone number and one direct email address I can be contacted on.

Happy cruising