Funny cruise stories

I was on a Uniworld river cruise recently, (you can read my review here), when this little incident happened to me.
I'm sure we've all got funny or embarrassing cruise stories so  thought I'd share this one with you to see if any of you are brave enough to share your funny stories here.

Every night onboard we'd head back to our cabins of an evening and their would be a different gift waiting on your pillow from the turn down team. The first couple of nights we had different types of chocolate but on the third night they left me a little bottle of expensive shampoo. The next night it was a bottle of conditioner.
A quick glance at my picture should tell you that these were useless to me, (as I've been bald since I was twenty one), but I thought I'd save them and give them to my wife when I got home.
The next day I happened to be chatting to the girl down on reception after I'd got back from a shore excursion, having a bit of a laugh and a joke with her, when I nearly ended up getting my cabin steward fired.

As we'd been having a bit of a joke I'd said.........
"Oh by the way, why does my cabin steward keep leaving me bottles of shampoo on my bed at night? Is she trying to poke fun of me for being bald?"
Expecting the receptionist to laugh at this point I grew a little worried when she started apologising profusely and promising to speak to the cabin stewards manager for me.
"No, no", I said, "it's a joke".
"No it's not sir, she should have realised about your condition and left something else"
At this point I did wonder to myself when being bald became 'a condition' but decided not to raise it as an issue as I was trying hard not to get my cabin steward sacked.
"No, no, really it's OK, it's just a joke - the famous British sense of humour"
"No, no sir it's not good enough, I'll get someone to speak to her".
This went on for a minute or so, (and may have carried on indefinitely), when I heard a voice behind me say -
"Don't worry, I'll speak to her"
I turned around to find the Captain standing there! This was quickly going from bad to worse.

Fortunately for me his wife was British so he had more of an appreciation for the British sense of humour and had been talking about the receptionist rather than my poor cabin steward, (who did a great job by the way).
"I'll explain to her you were only joking"
Thinking that was it I got out of there quick with a grateful feeling, but that wasn't the end of it by a long shot yet.
Heading back to the cabin that evening, instead of finding another bottle of conditioner there was a giant box of chocolates waiting for me with a note from my cabin steward.

Thinking the whole situation done with a group of us were talking in the bar a few days later. The night before our birthstone had been left on our pillow, (Uniworld had checked the month we were born from our bookings and picked the stones appropriately), and we all thought this was really nice gesture, (including me). The conversation progressed from birth stones to star signs and astrology in general, (something I've never been a fan of), so I was just in the middle of telling everyone how silly horoscopes where when I've heard a voice from behind me say:
"If you don't like the birth stones I can always get them to give you the shampoo instead"

Yep, the Captain was sitting behind us - Doh!

So have any of you any funny or embarrassing cruise stories? Feel free to share them here.

Happy cruising.