To Tip or not to Tip……..what Mr. Pink Thinks

I know tipping on board an American cruise liner is always a bit of a contentious issue, especially to us Brits, unaccustomed to the American style of inclusive gratuities. I know this always leads to a heated debate on both sides of the argument, but I’ve always wondered what the Americans themselves thought of this style of tipping.

I was watching Reservoir Dogs the other night on T.V when I heard Mr. Pink having a bit of a rant about tipping and it occurred to me that I had never heard an argument with all the pros and cons of tipping so well put, (assuming you don’t mind ignoring the swearing).
I have enclosed the argument below, with all the swear words blanked out, although I would probably say if you are easily offended don’t click the read more button.
Let me know what you think after you have read it and if it has changed your opinions at all.
Again, if you are easily offended please, please dont click the read more button.
Thank you.

NICE GUY EDDIE: Okay, everybody cough up green for the little lady.

NICE GUY EDDIE: C'mon, throw in a buck.

MR. PINK: Uh-uh. I don't tip.

NICE GUY EDDIE: Whaddaya mean you don't tip?

MR. PINK: I don't believe in it.

NICE GUY EDDIE: You don't believe in tipping?

MR. WHITE: I love this kid, he's a madman, this guy.

MR. BLONDE: Do you have any idea what these ladies make? They make *!%$.

MR. PINK: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.

NICE GUY EDDIE: I don't even know a Jew who'd have the balls to say that. So let's get this straight. You never ever tip?

MR. PINK: I don't tip because society says I gotta. I tip when somebody deserves a tip. When somebody really puts forth an effort, they deserve a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, that *!%$'s for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doin their job.

MR. BLUE: Our girl was nice.

MR. PINK: Our girl was, okay. She didn't do anything special.

MR. BLONDE: What's something special, take ya in the kitchen and suck your %£!* ?

NICE GUY EDDIE: I'd go over fifteen percent for that.

MR. PINK: Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've been here a long $%!£*! time, and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times.

MR. BLONDE: What if she's too busy?

MR. PINK: The words "too busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary.

NICE GUY EDDIE: Excuse me, Mr. White, but the last thing you need is another cup of coffee.

MR. PINK: These ladies aren't starvin to death. They make minimum wage. When I worked for minimum wage, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tip worthy.

NICE GUY EDDIE: Ahh, now we're getting down to it. It's not just that he's a cheap %$!*&$*     --

MR. ORANGE: --It’s that too--

NICE GUY EDDIE: --It is that too. But it's also he couldn't get a waiter job. You talk like a *%$!*% off dishwasher: "$%*! those !*^%! and their ^%*!"*$ tips."

MR. BLONDE: So you don't care that they're counting on your tip to live?

MR. PINK: Do you know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin, playing just for the waitresses.

(MR. PINK rubs his thumb and finger together)

MR. BLONDE: You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.

MR. PINK: So's working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them. They're servin ya food, you should tip em. But no, society says tip these guys over here, but not those guys over there. That's bull *£+$!.

MR. ORANGE: They work harder than the kids at McDonald's.

MR. PINK: Oh yeah, I don't see them cleaning fryers.

MR. BROWN: These people are taxed on the tips they make. When you stiff 'em, you cost them money.

MR. BLONDE: Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get, and make a living on. The reason is because of tips.

MR. PINK: *%$! all that. Hey, I'm very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That's *%$!&! up. But that ain't my fault. It would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government &!*£$ in the *$! on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And this non- college bull *>$* you're telling me, I got two words for that: "Learn to *!£$%! type." Cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big *!%£$! surprise.

MR. ORANGE: He's convinced me. Give me my dollar back

So, what did you think?
I'm looking forward to hearing back from you all.

Happy Cruising