It’s a funny ol’ life at sea…….

Of the following three cruise stories, only two ever really happened, the other is a complete figment of my imagination. But, here’s the puzzle, can you spot the real from the false?

Good Luck…………

Story 1

Back in 1995 several different cruise lines were trialling anti-Pirate technology to help defend their ships and passengers better. One particular luxury liner was trialling an L.R.A.D or a Long-Range-Acoustic-Device, designed for military use as a hailing and warning device. The disk shaped transmitter can emit an ear-splitting warning noise akin to a fire alarm as well as jackhammer-like pulses that can travel nearly two-thirds of a mile. At the limit of its range, the sound produced by the L.R.A.D is roughly 95 decibels – equivalent to standing a few feet away from a speeding subway train or chain saw.
Pirates who attacked this ship off the Eastern coast of Africa were repelled by this non lethal acoustic device in short order.

Story 2
A Senior IRA commander has described how he used to use Cunards QE2 to smuggle guns and explosives from New York to Britain in the early 70s.
One of the IRAs first quartermasters, said he boarded Cunard’s flagship to remove caches of Armalite assault rifles and hand grenades that had been stashed by sympathetic members of the 1,000-strong crew.
“I went to Southampton, put together a wee squad, all Belfast men,” he said. “They weren’t all members of the IRA, but were supporters. Belfast men practically controlled Southampton [docks] at the time.”
Once he received a coded message by telephone that a shipment had arrived, he and his team drove to Southampton. “I would drive into the docks, all prearranged through contacts, and actually get onto the boat to take the weapons off,” he said. “Normally the shipments would have been five, six, eight or 10 weapons at the most, maybe a couple of hand grenades.
The guns were then transported to Northern Ireland via ports such as Stranraer, in southwest Scotland. A former IRA activist in Dublin has confirmed that he was also involved in the smuggling and met his future wife on board the QE2 during one operation. He said guns were taken off the liner in the lining of long coats.

Story 3
Back in the early 80s, ABC network decided to host an episode of the Muppet Show aboard a well known cruise ship of the time. During the live recording of the show, the Captain of said ship, who had apparently been a lifelong fan of Miss Piggy, kidnapped the puppet and barricaded himself in his room. Fortunately the show had a replacement for her so the show continued without a hitch but the Captain refused to leave his room and the First Officer had to assume the Captains duties.

When they finally made it back to port the Captain had to be forced from his room and spent the next few years recovering from his nervous breakdown in a mental hospital in Miami.

Well you’ve read them all know; so which do you think is the fake? As always the first person back to me with the right answer wins a signed photo of myself.


Happy Cruising