19 days to go!

Only 19 days now! We’re down to the teens now. Something a bit more cheerful for you today. Read on for your advent treat. Try not to groan too much………

What did the Eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner?

"Whale meat again, don't know where, don't know when”!

What did the big cracker say to the little cracker?

My pop is bigger than yours!

Who is never hungry at Christmas?

The turkey - he's always stuffed!

What bird has wings but cannot fly?

Roast turkey!

What’s the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?

Your teeth!

We had grandma for Christmas dinner?

Really, we had turkey!

What’s happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus!

What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas?

Grave-y!

A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past.

They must have had sharp ears!

They were mountain-ears!

An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill. Which one picked it up?

Santa! The other two don't exist!

Father Christmas' sledge broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, 'Can you help me fix my sledge?'

'Sorry,' the motorist replied. 'I'm not a mechanic - I'm a chiropodist.'

'Well, can you give me a toe?'

Father Christmas wins a saucepan in a competition.

Now that’s what you call pot luck!

Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow!

Elf: I'm on my way, Father Christmas.

Father Christmas: But you only have one welly on!

Elf: That's all right! There's only one foot of snow!

How do we know Santa is such a good race car driver?

Because he's always in the pole position!

My talents are wasted here at Cruise.co.uk, I should be off somewhere writing Christmas crackers.

Merry Christmas